The Night of the Christmas Ball
by mudstalker
Summary: Jim and Artie have an interesting experience with women on the night of the Secret Service's Annual Christmas ball. For those of you attending dances and such this season, I hope this makes you laugh!


The Night of the Christmas Ball

Disclaimer: Jim and Artie meet some interesting women on the night of the secret service Christmas ball. This is just for fun; nothing belongs to me.

The door from the parlor car to the outside creaked open, and a slender but powerful figure stood gracefully in the doorway. A dark-haired woman was seated before the makeup mirror, busily putting the finishing touches on her fine-boned face. She was wearing nothing but her corsets and petticoats, and the intruder blushed slightly at seeing the woman in her undergarments.

"Jamie, sweetie, is that you?" the woman called out.

"Who else would it be?" laughed Jamie as she stepped into the car and quickly closed the door. "Brr, it's freezing out there! How can you stand the cold, Ari?"

Ariana Gordson turned around and flashed her friend and fellow agent, Jamie Westfield, a mischievous smile. "It's cause I have more fat and muscle to protect me," she replied. Quickly, realizing that her friend was cold to the bone, Ariana shoved her to the fire and poured her a glass of steaming mulled cider. Jamie blinked her thanks and downed the cider in a few great gulps.

"I've no time to be coddled," she laughed as she got her voice back. "I have to get ready for the Ball. Our last report took longer to file than expected."

Ari glanced at her friend with a question in her eyes, but figured not to ask it. Jamie could be as wild as they come, and it would not be unusual for her to stop off at the bar on the way back from filing a report. But her friend's eyes were clear and bright, and were dancing with merriment and mischief. Ari was not to be baited; however, so she moved back to her mirror and put the finishing touches on her curly black hair.

Jamie sighed as she watched her friend turn back to her makeup. "You are no fun," she commented with a sigh. Then, she walked over the to windows and pulled the heavy royal blue curtains across them. "Have you no sense of propriety?" Jamie teased. "With the lights on in here I could see you through the window!"

Ari paled. "Really?" she queried. "I'm so used to being off somewhere in the wilderness in our train that I forget to do small things like that when we are in big cities like Washington DC. Do you think anyone saw?"

Jamie shook her head reassuringly. "It's so cold out there that the only men who'd see you'll be made out of snow. However, if you keep the curtains drawn, it'll make the room warmer!"

Ari rolled her large brown eyes and put the final touch in her hair; a comb made to look like a trio of starflowers, with a high-dose sleeping pill in each for centers. "I love being a secret service agent," she commented. "We get all the cool toys."

Jamie finished securing all the curtains and ran quickly into her room. Moments later, she came out in petticoats and a corset. Her light brown hair was combed and flowing too. "Lace me up, will you?" she asked.

Ari came over to her and yanked her laces tight, but not _too_ tight. Her friend Jamie was a martial arts expert, and if they ran into any trouble, she would need to be able to breathe freely. Jamie, satisfied with her corset turned around to help Ari lace hers. After pulling the strings tight, she noticed that there were several misshapen lumps sticking out between the boning of the garment. "What on earth is wrong with your corset?" she asked.

Ari grinned an embarrassed smile. "Those are gas bombs. I thought we might need them in case we are attacked. You know, a girl can never be too careful when she is going out to the Annual Secret Service Christmas Ball."

"You'll look like you have a disease," Jamie replied. "Besides, the man dancing with you'll notice that your torso feels like it is made up of golf balls. Take them out!"

Growling, Ari grudgingly replied and a few moments later, a small but formidable pile of colored smoke bombs had grown on the small coffee-table next to the telegraph key. "At least I won't have to take the lock pick out of my ribbing," she replied.

Jamie shook her head in exasperation. "Ari, you have to be more subtle. You can't always be disguised as a man; in situations like these you have to find creative places to store your weapons."

Ari glared at Jamie. "Like where, in my shoes?" she said pointedly.

Jamie held her head high in mock indignation. "I'll have you know my boots with hollow heels are the sensation of the nation. Imagine not having to carry a reticule with you anymore!"

The absurdity of this comment sent Ari to howling with laughter, and she and Jamie ended up collapsing onto the blue and silver sofas in giggles. After a time, Jamie was able to stand again and quickly went about the business of tying on her dancing boots. Her green eyes flashing, she looked over at Ari and commented, "Better hurry up; our men'll be here any moment!"

Ari sobered and shuffled towards her room, coming back moments later with two sets of hoop skirts and two ball gowns. "These are so heavy," she complained. "Here, take your little bundle of joy."

Jamie raised her eyebrows. "Now, what got into you all of a sudden?" she asked.

Ari growled. "I jammed my finger. Now how will I be able to play the piano?"

Jamie shook her head and placed her dark green velvet dress over the hoops. "You are so clumsy," she remarked. "And don't worry; they'll have hired a professional piano player. Your job is just to dance tonight."

"Yes," Ari replied as she finished lacing her boots and began to tackle the hoops. "Dance with all that stuffy secret service crowd. Tell me, _please_ tell me that you found dates for us this evening when you were in town!"

Jamie ginned mischievously. "That's what took me so long to get in from town," she smiled as she pulled back another set of laces on the bodice of the velvet dress. "I went and spoke with Baxter, you know, the head record keeper? Well, he said we were to be escorted to dinner by two very distinguished secret service gentlemen, and so I took the liberty of inviting them over to be our dates for the evening."

Ari blinked. "So that's where my white pigeon has gone," she muttered as she fumbled with her maroon silk gown. "I thought it might have gotten out and frozen in this cold."

Jamie winced. "It probably did, considering that I sent the message by telegraph." She finished tying her own laces tight and briskly walked over to help Ari with her own. "Here," she growled as she looped the laces over and finished tying the dress tight. "What ever will you do on your own?!"

Ari scowled back and pulled on her long, cream colored gloves. Jamie pulled on her own black gloves and stooped gracefully to pick up her dance card and her reticule. "Are you ready to go?" she asked as Ari went about dimming the lights.

"Almost," Ari replied as she turned down the last light. "So, what are the names of these people and who do I get?"

Jamie opened her mouth to answer but was stopped by a knocking on the door. "I'll let them pick," she stated with a smile. "Besides, they're both famous, dashing, and young."

"Knowing Baxter, there probably in their eighties," Ari countered back as she swiftly opened the door.

James West and Artemus Gordon stood on the back deck of a very familiar parlor car, feeling eerily out of place. "Well, this is strange," Jim commented as he ran his hand along every familiar bit of railing.

"This must be the same model of train we have," Artemus replied. "It defies all logic that they would have hijacked our own train to make an impression."

"It's kind of sad, though," Jim stated. "I thought we were the only ones with a train."

"Well, you can't be special all the time," Artie replied as he lifted his hand to knock on the door. Quietly, the two partners waited, corsages in hand and top hats lowered in respect. Then, the door opened.

In the dim light, Jim and Artie could barely make out the subtle layout of the train, but it was exactly like their own! And in front of them, much better illuminated, stood two female agents that looked, spoke, and even stood eerily similar to the two agents outside the car.

"Great balls of St. Elmo's fire, it's like looking into a mirror James!" exclaimed Artie. The girls blushed.

Jim rolled his eyes. "My apologies, ladies. This uncouth gentleman is Artemus Gordon, and I am James West. We are to be your escorts for the evening."

The woman in green smiled one of the charming smiles that reeled Jim in so simply and replied, "I would be pleased to be escorted by you Mr. West."

"Please, call me Jim," Jim quickly stated.

"Jim," she replied with a wink towards Ariana and a charming giggle. "My name's Jamie Westfield, but you can call me just Jamie."

"Alright, Just Jamie," Jim retorted. Happily, he took her arm and led her down the stairs while Artie shook his head in disgust.

"How corny can you get, James," he muttered as Jim walked by.

Ari smiled. "Hello, Mr. Gordon," she shyly greeted.

Artie smiled at her. "You can call me Artemus," he stated, and her grin got even bigger.

"You can call me Ariana," she replied as she gave him her arm.

"Ariana? Isn't that the name of the snow fairy that pined to death over the love of Spring?"

"I wouldn't really know, Artemus. My area of interest lies primarily in chemistry…"

In the kitchen car, an old wearied butler laughed as his charges gallivanted off into the night by carriage. Old Tennyson had certainly known what to do to rouse up some Christmas magic, and it helped even further having someone on the inside. Slowly, the kitchen door opened, and Tennyson's brother Baxter walked in from the cold.

"Thanks for inviting me in for dinner," Baxter stated as he watched his brother prepare two Cornish game hens. "It's cold enough out there to rival London at New Years!"

"Well, that was the least I could do after you helped me set this up," Tennyson replied happily. "They are going to have one interesting night, that's for certain!"

As the two brothers laughed and tucked into their dinners, the first snow of winter began to fall. Usually, the location being Washington DC, it usually just turned into sleet, but the night's weather was unusually crisp and the snow fell even. It was truly a night for peace on earth.

_**Finis**_

Please review, and if you really like this idea, I'll write more. I just figured this was something fun to put up for Christmas. So, have a Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas!


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